Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
