Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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