He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
