Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
