At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
