do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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