dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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