Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
