he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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