my vag is so smooth its legendary
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
