I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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