You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
