i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
