Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
