Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize