So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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