he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
