She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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