i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
