Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
