I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
