He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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