i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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