i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
