Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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