i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
