Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
