i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
