dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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