Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize