We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
