u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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