I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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