My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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