i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
