dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
