Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
