My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
