Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
