well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
