Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize