Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
