In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
