There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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