And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
