I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
