can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
