You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
