are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize