If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
