Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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