Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
