Pants 0. Shit 1.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
