Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
