well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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