What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm at about main and main street
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
