Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
