she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
