Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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