When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just puked most of my soul out..
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
