I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize