didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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