took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
