So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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