The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
