how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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