white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
