know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
